Establishing Assertive Behavior
Posted in Work Life & Balance
Diagnose what is pulling you down
You need to check first what emotional gravity is acting on you. Is there a certain person-a co-worker, an immediate superior, or a manager-whom you need to stand up to? Do you feel squashed in a certain situation, such as a rivalry between two workers? Determining these factors will help you decide how to assert yourself.
Stand straight
If you feel that you are being pushed around by other people or in a certain situation, you have to stand tall physically, emotionally, and socially. This simple act of straightening your back suggests confidence, even if you do not feel like it.
Look into the eye
Look straight into the eyes of people, especially with the person whom you consider as your oppressor. It is another non-verbal cue to show superiority, while people who are afraid tend to look away.
Break the cycle of absorbing negative interaction
Do not wait for that person who is pulling you down to bring on another rude interaction towards you. Act as if he or she is there, or talk to someone about anything but that negative person. However, if you are forced to work with such people, the best way you can do is to be civil about your interactions, while maintaining the previous suggestions.
When the pull-down starts, take the upper hand
Never surrender when a pull-down happens, but that does not mean you have to fight fire with fire. Assertiveness is different from answering back. Simply stand straight, look the oppressor into the eye, and state your case.
Speak first
If a confrontation is about to happen, speak first before your antagonist has a chance to begin his or her verbal assault. Try changing the subject, make a joke, begin the conversation with a co-worker, or ask the antagonist a direct question.
Complement yourself, no matter the result
Whatever the result of you standing up for yourself, give yourself a pat on the back. What is important is that you remained calm and grounded throughout the process.
